(said with a kind of doubtful hopeful voice :-)
"Everything is perfect"
Have you ever heard that
phrase or contemplated it's meaning? How can everything be perfect in a
world where suffering is rife.
The phrase "Everything is Perfect" is often quoted by spiritual teachers to their students who question the suffering in this world and I have contemplated it's meaning many times and tried to see the perfection in some less-than-my-idea-of-perfect, situations.
"When life throws you a lemon, make lemonade"
Is another phrase I am sure you all know.
"See the gift" or "Did you find the gift?" are another two phrases used to cause a person to look for beauty in what they thought was an ugly or less-than perfect situation.
So - bearing these in mind,
"Everything is perfect, but it might not be beautiful"
Beauty, you may agree, is not just about how a thing looks. We have beautiful music, beautiful weather, beautiful aromas and we may observe a beautiful action for example, when a teenager stops to help an old person cross the road. "Play it Forward", comes to mind as an example of beautiful actions and a beautiful video. And such actions spring from beautiful thoughts.
Everything is perfect because it is the 'perfect result' of the previous few moments, which in turn can be traced back to many many moments ago which set up a chain reaction, along with other seemingly chance occurrences that interacted along the way - but none of them were chance either, they all emerged from the immediate few moments preceding and from many many moments before that.
Where are choices made? I would say, if it it's not made in the mind, then it is not a choice. The heart can be a guide, but one can choose to listen to one's heart or to ignore it.
And so.... everything is
Can anyone else change the way you feel? I mean without changing external circumstances, can they somehow get inside your head and change your thoughts and feelings? No.
Someone else can listen, and, having shared your pain, your suffering in whatever form, you may feel somewhat better. So what is happening here? You are gradually coming to accept 'what is'. Acceptance of 'what is' brings peace. When the other person listens with acceptance, it helps you to accept "what is" too.
Do you sit at your computer
with your shoulders scrunched up. I do apparently - I just caught myself
doing it, and I released them and feel a lot better. But I had to bring my
conscious awareness to my shoulders and 'notice' that they were scrunched
before I could let the tension go.
And so it is ....with beholding beauty or ugliness.
Do dogs see ugliness?
Do dogs see a pile of rubbish in a back ally as ugly, or an opportunity?
And thus, "In all things - give thanks" begins to make sense - even in a world where everything is perfect but not beautiful.
So my main message here is "love"
"Love is letting go of
is a phrase I apply where a situation
“We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.”
― Oscar Wilde
“All that we see or seem is but a dream within a dream.”
― Edgar Allan Poe
1. Whoever is present are the right people.
2. Whenever it begins is the right time.
3. Whatever happens is the only thing that could have happened.
4. And when it's over, it's over.”
Four guidelines for authentic expression:
1. Show up - be fully present
2. Tell the truth without blame of judgment
3. Pay attention to what has heart and meaning
4. Be open to outcome, not attached to outcome.
1. Showing up and being present allows us to access our power, our presence and a willingness to communicate.
2. Telling the truth without blame or judgement fosters our authenticity and allows us to develop intuition and inner vision.
3. Paying attention to what has heart and meaning allows us to access love, gratitude, acknowledgement, and validation.
4. Being unattached to outcome allows us to access wisdom and objectivity.
I hope you have enjoyed these timeless reminders of universal truth telling and facing.
Here is a four-step process
for truth telling when communicating:
When you need to communicate about a delicate subject with someone, face to face is best and they need to know you are going to use these guidelines and that you are not blaming or making them wrong. You are just communicating your feelings, perception and wants. (not demands)
And it may be helpful if you say that you realise that your perception may be wrong or distorted, because it may!
What the other person does with this information is up to them. You may not get what you want, and you may loose a friend, but you will have been authentic, maybe for the first time in your life. Being authentic means your actions and words are a true expression of your inner truth and feelings.
Once you have established that the other person is willing to listen while you run through these steps you speak the words (in bold) below and finish the sentence.
"When you.........(whatever they do or don't do...)
"I feel...........(sad, mad, glad, fearful.....that about covers it!) (NOT I feel you should....that is not a feeling , that is a thought!)
"My perception is..........(Here you can say what you think the other may be doing if you want to, but it's just your perception - which may be wrong...! e.g. My perception is that you don't really care about me being tired. )
"I want...........(I want you to care, and I want you to be understanding that I need to go and rest now. Just for example)
But remember, you may not get what you want, and the other person may respond with anger, and/or retaliation aimed to hurt or disempower you. so be careful and wise and choose the right time and place.
When you find yourself in judgemental thoughts, Byron Katie suggests you go through these four questions:
Is it true?
Can you absolutely know that it is true?
How do you react when you believe that thought?
Who would you be without that thought?
This process will help you to work on turning the original belief statement around in a very unique way. It gives you the opportunity to see yourself more clearly. Katie gives full instructions on how to use this process here:
take a break
And now - the Revelation given to John - a long time ago...
And I see a New Heaven and a